marriage

Threes Company

I must seem like good wife material to these brothas…

Second wife material that is.

Let me break it down for those of you who don’t quite understand.

In Islam, a man is allowed to have more than one wife. He can have up to four if he so chooses. Now there are rules when it comes to this practice. He must be financially stable and just to all of his wives. This is not like a harem thing where the brotha gets fed grapes under a palm tree on some tropical island. It ain’t that kind of party…

Since I have embarked on this search I have had several brothas ask me if I was interested in joining their families. Most of these men are fairly young, successful and seem to have pretty good marriages. Interestingly enough, their wives are perfectly fine with entering plural marriage.

I must admit. It weirds me out…

One sister actually asked on her husbands behalf.

First off, I don’t like to share and if I don’t want to share my husband that is my right. If Allah blesses me with a husband I would want him for myself. I’m 100% woman. If he has me then he doesn’t need anyone else.

Sistaqueens, know your value…

If you choose to take part in polygyny because you desire to practice it then gon’ ahead!

Also, if you decide to practice polygyny due to desperation and frustration I suggest you to do a self evaluation.

Thing is these married brothas are so persistent.

Common one liners I’ve heard:

“Sista, the Prophet and his wives did it. You think you’re better than them?”

Exactly! The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was just that…the Prophet! So rather than trying to emulate this practice to your advantage why not try something else? Let’s see…perhaps night prayers, feeding the poor, or having more patience. If you desire to be so much like our Beloved there are an array of good acts to choose from. I can provide you with a list.

“It’s too much temptation these days.Would you rather have a brotha cheat on his wife?”

My thirsty brotha, please have a seat somewhere. Ain’t nobody got time for you to be talking this mess right now. If you are already married and concerned about infidelity then you need to examine your current relationship. Is there something lacking in your marriage? Do you have an insatiable appetite? If you answered yes to either of those then polygyny is not going to solve your problem.

I wish my future husband would.

I’d knock that fool out…

“There are a lot of Muslim women who need help. Don’t you want for your sister what you want for yourself?”

Yes, sure there are many women in need… but hot dayum do you have to marry the sista to help her out?

Pass.

Don’t religiously guilt a sista into polygyny. This practice is an option. It doesn’t make you any less of a Muslim if you choose not to practice this.

I can not stand Muslims who exploit the religion to their advantage. Most would think that brothas take advantage of polygyny.

But guess what though?

Many sistas do too…

This is a recent finding of mine. I have had several friends enter polygyny due to the simple fact that they don’t want a husband “full time”. They would prefer to share their man with another woman. For these women it means less cooking, less cleaning and all your needs are taken care of.

Now, for some couples polygyny works perfectly fine. From what I have seen it takes certain personality types, a lot of patience and sacrifice. It can actually be successful if all those involved get along.

Do what makes you happy and always remember Allah.

You’ll never lose with that.

Advertisements
Standard

7 thoughts on “Threes Company

  1. Ayatullah says:

    Lmho lwkmd!!! Look whose got us busted…..time to restratigize. Did you really have to do this? 😥 #RIPoneLiners

    ..yo I know you ain’t got time for that shi..but do you have a twitter / Facebook that subscribes and posts your stuffs . ( my email is a thrash can and I almost dared to overlook this one. Glad I didn’t) Thanks Jazaks

  2. hahhahahaha hmmm

    The “right personality”? lol ‘member our conversation?!

    “Holly?!” lol

    so much to say but I’m a more in person about this subject type of person…too many conflicting views on it 😉

  3. Pingback: Here Comes The Bride… | From Ashy to Classy

  4. Travina says:

    OMG! After reading this, I adore you even more! This is hilarious and mirrors my own sentiments. So glad we met, Alhamdulilah!

  5. Sudan says:

    In Islam a brother is allowed to have more than one wife…. in the same surah this is revealed… it is also mentioned that he only needs one wife. That one wife is MORE than enough if only he knew.

    Furthermore, how would you treat multiple wives equally? The only way you could treat them all equally was if you had the same level of contact with them…. which would be not at all. If you were taking care of say four widows financially, and creating a situation for them to receive extra support should you die. Since there is 1.6 BILLION muslims now… i think we are past that stage. That was more a battle of Badir kind of thing. You can’t treat multiple wives equally if you are sleeping with them and having babies with them. You can’t use this allowance to build your own mini Harem.

    Yet it is still said and accept that muslim men can have more than one wife, as if that is a God given right that shouldn’t be frowned upon and or seriously criticized and judged if he chooses to enact it. Knowing full well he is using them just for a different flavor to his bedroom.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s