It’s getting dark outside.
I lay on my sofa nestled under a throw blanket. I am lost in my thoughts and old episodes of Scrubs. My apartment is warm and cozy. I am comfortable while munching on a bag of chips.
My phone rings.
I look at the phone and contemplate picking up. It vibrates and dances across the table. I pick it up before it falls off.
“Asaalamu alaikummmmm girl, what’s up?” I say while smiling down the phone.
Its my friend and she starts rambling about random things and then talks about this app called Tinder. She suggests I download it. For those of you who don’t know recently there has been an explosion in dating apps for cell phones. Essentially, they use your GPS location and link you up with folks within the vicinity. “There are a ton of Muslim men on it. Check it out!” She squeals down the line. I can hear the excitement in her voice.
A sistaqueen is always open for something new. So I download it.
Once it downloads there are a series of prompts. As you open the app a picture of a person will pop up on your phone. You can do one of three things:
Swipe left– means you’re not interested.
Swipe right– means you’re interested and if they swipe right on your profile as well then you’ll match up.
Click on their picture– Allows you to view more pictures of them or read their profile (If they wrote additional information).
Now, let me just say Tinder has to be one of the most superficial things out there to date (pun intended). Essentially, I am basing everything off of what a person looks like. I have nothing else to judge them off of. I like to think of myself as a person with substance. So naturally, I seek out substance. There is so much more to a person than their looks.
But that isn’t even the half of it.
Keep in mind I am minding my own business. Watching Netflix, eating chips and shit. I didn’t want to have anything to do with all of this.
I begin mindlessly scrolling through the app. I see a Mohammed. I also see an Omar too. Looks like Omar is holding a beer though. What a pity, he was a cutie too. :swipe left:
Surprisingly, I see a ton of Muslims on this app!
I see a dude posing with his dog. Dog is all up in his face. Gross. :swipe left:
I see a guy on a surf board. Looks like a risk taker. His smile wide and deceiving. :swipe left:
I see a guy with rimmed glasses on. Tech dude and very geeky. Something endearing about his shy eyes though. :swipe left:
I see a guy sitting in a chair. He has a checkered shirt on. His white teeth and perfectly placed. Something eerily familiar about him.
I begin sit up on my sofa.
I click on his profile to reveal more pictures. As I scroll through his profile I instantly recognize him. The lightbulb goes off as I put two and two together. It’s the husband of my VERY married friend.
I grab another potato chip and scroll through the pictures two more times thinking that maybe I was mistaken. My eyes narrow as I slowly examine his pictures. One of him posing in a restaurant. Another one he’s at the beach looking out at the orange sunset. Looks like he’s trying to be reflective.
I begin to wonder who took these photos. His wife, maybe?
So this leads me to the ethical dilemma. What do you do when you are scrolling through Tinder (or any dating/matrimonial site) and the picture of your very married friends husband pops up?
Do you swipe left and ignore?
I mean you could simply mind your own business and not say anything?
Tell your friend about her lying husband?
Or, do you swipe right and confront him?