I have received several inquires about my updates. I have been busy relocating and transitioning jobs. I am in the vibrant city of Brooklyn.
No friends, I am not married! Though, who knows what the future holds. Like I always say be open to new possibilities and ventures.
So I had a recent conversation with some of my sistaqueens that I want to share with you.
We were pondering this question:
Would more Muslim women be married if it was permissible to marry non-Muslim men?
Many of the women I asked firmly agreed. Surprisingly only a handful of them disagreed. Most in agreement had personal stories to back up their claims. I heard a multitude of stories about sisters meeting men at work or in other places but having to end things due to them not being Muslim. One sister in particular told me that she met a man at work and he was a very devout Coptic Christian. He was drawn to her modesty and behavior. He had all the qualities she wanted in a spouse (minus the fact that he was not Muslim). Obviously the relationship didn’t go any anywhere but she said she often wonders where it would have gone might they have taken things further.
Many of the women I asked claimed that they were treated with more respect when approached by non Muslim men.
Sadly, I could believe this.
The horror stories I hear about Muslim men (not all) will have you run the opposite direction. For real.
The bad part is Muslim men twist Islamic rulings to their favor and use it to legitimize their rachet behavior. As a Muslim woman empower yourself by knowing the religion in and out.
It always amazes me how Muslim women are expected to stay within an expected line of behavior but brothers act a damn fool. Getting married to two or even three women without telling their first wives.
Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts I have been approached by several married men who have not informed their first wives of their quest for another woman. This always leaves me to wonder if this is a common behavior among Muslim men.
I equate polygamy on the down low with cheating. It’s dishonest and breaks up a relationship real fast.
Sistaqueen, if he does it to another woman then best believe he will do it to you.
Baby, you are NOT an exception.
Taking advantage and misconstruing Islamic law is big sin. May Allah have mercy and guide us all to what He loves.
But then I thought about this…
If thats the case then why aren’t non Muslim women married?
I’ve grown up with the thought that mainstream culture doesn’t respect marriage and has a deep fear of long term commitment.
I am a firm believer that a majority of women regardless of ethnicity, faith or social status desire marriage. Many would beg to argue but women desire long term commitment. Always. If not then something is wrong.
It doesn’t make us weak. It’s just how we were built.
Could it be that non Muslim women don’t desire marriage? Is the idea of being with one person for the rest of your life a turn off?
Lastly, I think its important for folks to know that very few Muslimwomen in their right mind would choose a non Muslim brother over a Muslim one. We are talking about your life partner and the father of your future children.
I’ve heard of several Imams on the East Coast marrying Muslimwomen to non Muslim men. Whether or not you are in agreement with this we all must acknowledge that there is a Muslim marriage crisis happening in the Western world.
Things like this just happen due to our circumstances as Muslims in a majority non Muslim country. No one wants to stay single.
And if you ask a sistqueen herself the streets are rough. TheMuslim brothers that are readily available are either married, “not ready” or messing around with non-Muslim women.
So this leaves young Muslim women in an unfortunate position.
My last words to you are…
Take caution to the tricks of shaytan, make dua to Allah and lastly getcho’ man!