This blog is not intended for the faint of heart. Rather it is geared towards Muslims who have an interest in discussing love, relationships and sexuality. Perhaps you might be a single person on the quest for love, happily married or still healing from a divorce. This is a welcoming and non judgmental space for all. Welcome.
I am a woman on a mission to find a Muslim husband and lately I’ve realized that there is no space to openly discuss my experiences. So, I’ve created my own. Welcome to MUSLIMnLOVE. This is not a space where I will attempt to explain Islamic rulings. This point needs to be stressed. I am in no way certified and that’s why we have imams and scholars. This blog is based on my experiences, joys, and struggles with being a single Black Muslim woman.
Time to break it down…
The single sista: I understand your struggle. I know you have had your share of bad encounters and awkward sit downs. It’s just the rules of the game, right? You’ve probably heard people say that you have to kiss a ton of frogs before making it to your prince. That’s absolute bull shit. Some of these brothas are just plain whack. I know you wish they would just stop playing games and get with the program. Well, I’m here to share my stories with you. Some are funny and others not so much. Sit back and put your feet up. We have a lot to talk about, SistaQueen.
The inquisitive brotha: You want an insight. An insight into the mind of the single Muslim woman. Perhaps you are looking for tips and pointers. I’m here to help you with that. As a Muslim woman I know its intimidating to approach us but believe me we aren’t about to approach you! So, that kinda leaves us in a conundrum. You know what I’m talking about. Those awkward stares at the ISNA bazaar or trying to hook up after MSA meetings. I know, it’s not working for you. You just don’t know what the average Muslim sista wants. It’s ok, I feel your pain. So, take that kufi off and get those fruit loops out your beard. You’re ready to learn.
The Salafi: I’m not quite sure why you are reading this but I welcome you into my world! I know you’ve probably said “astagfirullah” under your breath about a dozen times now. It’s ok, I know you are curious. Aren’t we all? Don’t mention it to your bearded gang or niqabi clad sisters. They might ask for a daleel or something. It’s our secret. It might be difficult for you to handle my frankness and if that’s the case I suggest you stop reading now. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for you having a massive heart attack. I have enough on my plate to worry about.
The non-Muslim: You’re probably wondering how we get married. I’m not going to lie because our marriage process is somewhat involved. Parents, dowry’s, cultural crap… Yes, it is a lot. Hopefully I will help you understand and perhaps we’ll reach a point and you’ll see that “courting” isn’t really so different from dating.
Now that we are done with that let me introduce myself! I have been divorced for three and a half years. Such is life, right? I work as an RN and my specialty is emergency medicine. I also have a passion for health care reform so I do a lot of work with those who are under insured or lack health coverage all together. I am a 20-something year old SistaQueen from Chicago. I am of African descent and refer to myself as a daughter of the diaspora. By now you can tell that I am Muslim. Even though I don’t like labels I would probably classify myself as a moderate. This blog is a branch off my Facebook posts.
My family and friends have been encouraging me to blog about my experiences of finding a husband. I have been very candid about this whole process and I intend on remaining so throughout this blog. I appreciate honesty and openness so I hope you do as well.
Let the fun begin!